Michael Aivaliotis Posted December 14, 2004 Report Share Posted December 14, 2004 I'll start this off with a classic: THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS (Rick Moranis / Dave Thomas) Bob & Doug McKenzie (B: Bob D: Doug C: Chorus) B: OK, good day. This is our Christmas part of the album. You can play this at your Christmas parties, or to yourself on Christmas Eve, if there's nothin' else to do. D: Good day, eh? In case you thought, like, I wasn't on this part. B: Oh, I guarantee ya you'd be on. OK, so good day. This is the Christmas part, and we're gonna tell ya what to get..um...your true love forChristmas. D: Look out the window! B: Where? (chuckle) What are ya doin'?!? D: Snow, hosehead! B: Well, oh, it's the Great White North, and it's snowing 'cause it's Christmastime. Hey, hoser! D: What? B: Here's a quiz. (chuckle) Quiz for Doug... D: OK, I have my "thinking took" on. B: Yeah, right. What are the "Twelve Days of Christmas"? 'Cause, figure it out, right? Christmas is when? D: Um, the twenty-fifth... B: Right. And, what's the twenty-fourth...Christmas Eve, right? So.. D: That's two B: That's two. And, then what's after that? (pause) Boxing Day D: Wrestling Day B: Wrestl..get out! D: Boxing Day, yeah, yeah. B: That's three. Then, what's after that? Nothin'! D: New Year's! B: Four and what's... D: New Year's Eve? B: That's five. Where do ya get twelve? D: Uh, there's two Saturdays and Sundays in there; that's four. So, that's nine. And three other days which, I believe, are the "mystery" days. (Music starts) B: OK, this our Christmas song, just in case you don't know what to get someone for Christmas. D: There's lots of ideas in here, so listen and don't get stuck! (organ starts) By the way, that's ME on the organ. B: Oh, geez. D: You start... B: OK... On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, A beer. D: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Two turtle-necks B: And a beer. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Three French toast D: Two turtle-necks B: And a beer. D: There should be more there, eh? B: Where? Oh, go! D: Fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Four pounds of back-bacon B: Three French toast D: Two turtle-necks B: And a beer. D: ...in a tree. See, you need more. B: Oh..fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Five golden tooks, D: Four pound of back-bacon B: Three French toast D: Two turtle necks B: And a beer...where? D: (with Bob) In a tree. B: OK, on the sixth...oo, go! D: ..Christmas, my true love gave to me, C: Six... D: Six packs of two-four B & C: Five golden tooks C: Four... D: Four pounds of back-bacon C: Three... B: Three French toast C: Two... D: Two turtle-necks C: And a beeeeeeeeer... B: And a beer (with Doug) in a tree. OK. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, Seven pack of smokes, C: Nice gift! D: Nice gift. Oh...six packs of two-four B & C: Five golden tooks. C: Four... D: Four pounds of back-bacon C: Three... B: Three French toast C: Two... D: Two turtle-necks C: And a beeeeeeeeer... B: And a beer (with Doug) in a tree. Keep forgetting. D: Whew! This should just be the "Two Days of Christmas"; it's too hard for us! Go, hoser. B & D: On the eighth day of Christmas, may true love gave to me, D: Eight comic books (Chorus repeats right behind them, though one behind) B & D: Seven packs of smokes Six pack of two-four B: Five... C: (catches up) Five golden tooks Four pounds of back-bacon Three French toast Two turtle-necks ALL: And a beer... B & D: On my tree. B: Yeah, that beer is empty. OK, day, um... C: TWELVE! B: Twelve! D: Good day, and welcome to day twelve.. (Chorus starts up and Bob and Doug join in) ALL: Five golden tooks Four pounds of back-bacon, Three French toast Two turtle-necks And a beer in a treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! D: Where'd you learn to do that? B: Um, albums. D: So, like, that's our song. Merry Christmas... B: Merry Christmas! D: And good day! B: Good day! Ha-happy New Year, too. D: Shhh! B: OK, you know what you left out? D: What? B: Donuts! D: Oh, no! B: I told you to get donuts. Either on the ninth day, or the tenth day or the eleventh day, but I want donuts! D: OK, the song's over! Merry Christmas, everybody! B: ...or, on the twelfth day, you could've got me a DOZEN donuts... D: So,..go out to the stores and get some presents! B: You could've gone down, to, like, the good donut shops where you buy a dozen, you get another one free, and then it'd be thirteen for the "Thirteen Days of Christmas"! D: Next Christmas, you can get me a chain-saw! B: Take off! (As music fades:) D: Boy, that song was a beauty. It...it moved me. B: Yeah, I think it ranks up there with "Stairway to Heaven". D: What? Quote Link to comment
Sarah83 Posted December 15, 2004 Report Share Posted December 15, 2004 Nice idea An other 12 days... 12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me: Twelve bags of catnip! Eleven tarter Pounce treats, Ten ornaments hanging, Nine wads of Kleenex, Eight peacock feathers, Seven stolen Q-tips, Six feathered balls, Five MILK JUG RINGS! Four munchy house plants, Three running faucets, Two fuzzy mousies, And a hamste-e-er in a plastic ball!! What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. ! Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles ! What's Christmas called in England ? Yule Britannia ! What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ? Thanks, I'll never part with it ! Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them ! What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ? A pineapple ! What do you give a train driver for Christmas ? Platform shoes ! What did the big candle say to the little candle ? I'm going out tonight ! Whats happens to you at Christmas ? Yule be happy ! How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick ! Quote Link to comment
Louis Manfredi Posted December 15, 2004 Report Share Posted December 15, 2004 Happy Holidays to all. Attached is sort of silly in a nerdy way... ... or perhaps its nerdy in a silly way. Either way, Happy Holidays! Louis Download File:post-1144-1103125777.vi Quote Link to comment
AnalogKid2DigitalMan Posted December 15, 2004 Report Share Posted December 15, 2004 Here's a holiday diddy I wrote for our IT guys a couple years back: Marc and Greg: Hope you appreciate this, it wasn't planned at all and get's a little weak, took me about 20 minutes to hash together Twas the night before Xmas break and all through the plant nary a hard drive was spinning nor any traffic on the LAN The backup tapes were sent offsite with care In the hopes that vacation would soon be here IT was snuggled all up in their beds While visions of Bill Gates danced through their heads And Marc in his kerchief And Greg in his cap Had just settled down for their usual afternoon nap When out on the server there arose such a clatter Could it be U drives hard disk platter? Away to rack Marc flew like a flash While Greg inspected the small pile of ash The blue light is off on the newly fallen server Gave fits to IT and a panic of fervor When, what to their teary eyes should appear A virus in the form of Britney Spears With a little DOS driver so compact and quick They knew in a moment vacation was nixed More rapid than DDR, their curses they came And they hollered and shouted and called out by name: Now hard drive, now FAT, now partition and platter On SCSI, on IDE, on RAID and head chatter. To the top of the buffer, to the top of the firewall Now reboot, reboot, reboot now all! As viruses that before Norton diminish When they meet with an obstacle They always do finish. So out to their houses IT did they flew With the server up again, and Britney too! Merry Xmas and Nappy Yew Hear -Pete Quote Link to comment
hfettig Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 These are the Lyrics to Frank Kelly's hilarious 'Christmas Countdown'. It is the the answer of the guy, who receives all the presents in the original '12 Days of Christmas'. Day One Dear Nuala, Thank you very much for your lovely present of a partridge in a pear-tree. We Quote Link to comment
Sarah83 Posted December 16, 2004 Report Share Posted December 16, 2004 @hfettig I could roar with laughter :thumbup: Quote Link to comment
Ed Dickens Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 OK, this is a bit late, but I think it's worth while. Ed Download File:post-47-1104333247.mp3 Quote Link to comment
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