Someday, I really would like to take two months off of my main dev job to sit down with the developers of some app that uses all this ref stuff and really tear it apart. I've gone through smaller apps and been able to eliminate most of the references, achieving much better performance -- often with a significant decrease in memory and usually fixing a couple of race conditions along the way! But that's only for small apps, which leaves my theory that the big apps would be better off without the ref aspects as just that: a theory. I don't just need my time... I'd also need the time of the large app's developer(s) to provide the handholding to do the analysis. The work I did with Allen Smith on the AF was this weird moment of downtime for me at NI between two major projects, something that doesn't come around often.
Until that next magical gap in my schedule, I'm just going to look at diagrams like the ones above and wince, whispering quietly, "We gotta find a better way..."