I have been a community admin for another Stack Exchange site, and the difference in tone between the various sites astounds me. I didn't understand how much rides on the tone the admins take. Stack Overflow, the main Exchange, is really bad to the point that I have shadow accounts to ask questions there because once you ask what is seen by some as a dumb question, they follow you to your next question with "you're still an idiot" type comments. It's massively helpful when it is helpful and deeply insulting when it is not. But it doesn't have to be that way -- it's the choice of the admins for that particular Exchange site.
There's a difference between one or two obnoxious persons shining a flashlight in your eyes versus a group of people with laser pointers and magnesium flares. In my experience, Stack Overflow is the latter form of hell.